To be honest I don't really understand why someone who is not a natural performer would go to such lengths to reprogram themselves in this way. Performance opportunities are very hard to come by and pay next to nothing. Audiences are likely to be disappointingly small and reviews are almost bound to be mixed. If someone just has a burning desire to perform, I can understand that they might tolerate all of that - but why anyone would want to manufacture a desire to perform, just to put themselves in that position, is beyond me.
Hmmmm....from my own experiences, I offer the following explanation.
There are at least two personality patterns that people fall into. The first is the person who from an early age is rewarded by praise for something they do well, either because of talent and/or inclination. When they grow up, they continue to do that in which they can excel, and generally avoid activities that they feel they are “not good at” or in their estimation, will never excel at.
Then there are people who see both their strengths and weaknesses, accept the strengths but are driven to correct a perceived weakness by challenging themselves until it is “conquered “. I put myself in the latter category, and my husband in the former.
I’ve practiced martial arts for many decades. Besides the physical activity, there were other aspects that drew me to it; I felt discomfort with physical or verbal conflict and my ability to deal with such a situation and this gave an opportunity to learn how to deal with it in a safe environment; I understood that confidence comes from a very clear understanding of yourself and this sort of practice holds up a mirror so you can see both the good and the bad; there is an emphasis on taking that which is your weakest technique or inclination and making the effort to strengthen it so that it is as strong as your strongest technique or attribute.
The challenge brings you to a point where you understand the nature of your weakness and when you conquer it, you have grown as a person. Not everyone is motivated to do this, but for some of us, that is what floats our boat.
And that is why we try to perform even though we are not “naturals” at it.
When the sun shines, bask.
Classical Guitar forever!