Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Talk about things that are not necessarily related to music or the guitar.
Andrew Pohlman
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Andrew Pohlman » Tue Aug 29, 2017 9:36 pm

Ya know, I wanted to say something really witty about electric lawn mowers. I failed. I might have more luck making jokes about linoleum.
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martinardo
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by martinardo » Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:04 pm

One word, Pat: AstroTurf.

my work here is done
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Smudger5150
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Smudger5150 » Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:17 pm

lagartija wrote:
Tue Aug 29, 2017 1:06 pm
....
I use the same method as Bear to rid myself of unwanted items. Amazing what people will take if it is marked "free". Maybe it is a Massachusetts thing...;-)
Not just. We have the same 'facility' over here in the UK, well, here in Birmingham....unless it's a US thing and I've unknowingly warped through to Alabama without knowing it...

A friend of mine was taking his lawnmower to his Dad's and moved it from his garage/shed/wherever to his car laying it down next to the boot (trunk) of his car with a view to putting it in the car after he'd gone into the house to get something.
He went into his house but was only away for a moment...and lo and behold the lawnmower had gone.

If only our council binmen could be so reliable....

Moral of the story is:- get your son/friend/colleague, heck, anyone else to mow your lawn!
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Pat Dodson
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Pat Dodson » Wed Aug 30, 2017 12:01 am

Never mind looking up "hockles", I made the mistake of looking up "brush hog." :shock:

Never heard a ShopVac. My own pet hate is the turbo hand-dryer that deafens you while threatening to tear the skin from your hands. Like a Harrier Jump Jet strapped to the wall. Terrifying and completely over the top.

AstroTurf might indeed solve things but I really like Andrew's suggested squad of tortoises. Do you think if I put a low boundary around the lawn that the dozen tortoises would change direction when they encountered it just as Cass describes with the cordless autonomous mower? Imagine that filmed and speeded up. :D

dory
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by dory » Wed Aug 30, 2017 2:00 am

We have a nightmare gas mower (from hell). My husband used to do a lot of the mowing but has had bad knees and this summer is crazy busy.I hate that piece of garbage. It is really hard to start (especially the first time in the spring,) is noisy, smells, and is extremely heavy. It also won't back up which is horrible because we have a lot of obstacles in our yard-- otherwise known as trees and lawn furniture. Our neighbors have a cordless electric which is quiet and looks light (might not be) and which I envy them desperately. However, their lawn is much smaller than ours.
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Guitar-ded
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Guitar-ded » Fri Sep 01, 2017 11:02 pm

Smudger5150 wrote:
Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:17 pm
lagartija wrote:
Tue Aug 29, 2017 1:06 pm
....
I use the same method as Bear to rid myself of unwanted items. Amazing what people will take if it is marked "free". Maybe it is a Massachusetts thing...;-)
....

Moral of the story is:- get your son/friend/colleague, heck, anyone else to mow your lawn!
My wife loves to cut the lawn. We have a garden tractor thingy that almost makes it a fun chore, if you're into that sort of thing.
We also have a de-thatcher unit that she has named Maggie. :wink:
Getting better bit by bit, day by day.

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Andrew Fryer
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Andrew Fryer » Sat Sep 02, 2017 10:22 am

Pat Dodson wrote:
Wed Aug 30, 2017 12:01 am
Do you think if I put a low boundary around the lawn that the dozen tortoises would change direction when they encountered it just as Cass describes with the cordless autonomous mower? Imagine that filmed and speeded up.
Initially I thought, no, they'd be more likely prosaicly to stay at the edge eating local grass until it was gone then slowly move on, but then I thought, no, you're right, whether they'd stay at the edge or move away from it, only a stop-motion film would show. There could be a Turner prize in it for you Pat! The trickiest thing would be to get the number of tortoises exactly right, so that they'd eat every blade of grass just before hibernation time.
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simonm
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by simonm » Sat Sep 02, 2017 7:11 pm

martinardo wrote:
Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:04 pm
One word, Pat: AstroTurf.

my work here is done
Reminds me of this:

Reporter to famous baseball player "which do you prefer, grass or astroturf"
Baseball player "man, I ain't never smoked no astroturf"

Tubbers
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Tubbers » Sat Sep 02, 2017 8:39 pm

Pat Dodson wrote:
Wed Aug 30, 2017 12:01 am
Never mind looking up "hockles", I made the mistake of looking up "brush hog." :shock:

Never heard a ShopVac. My own pet hate is the turbo hand-dryer that deafens you while threatening to tear the skin from your hands. Like a Harrier Jump Jet strapped to the wall. Terrifying and completely over the top.

AstroTurf might indeed solve things but I really like Andrew's suggested squad of tortoises. Do you think if I put a low boundary around the lawn that the dozen tortoises would change direction when they encountered it just as Cass describes with the cordless autonomous mower? Imagine that filmed and speeded up. :D
The brush hog is like a small helicopter blade.
Shop Vacs are very popular and even suck up water.
The new turbo hand driers are the coming thing. You don't even have to wash as it will blow the dirt off your hands. :lol:
Fast turtles. I'd like to see that. :)
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bear
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by bear » Sat Sep 02, 2017 8:52 pm

Several years ago, my oldest grandson came by and remarked to my wife that I should not have to work so hard and should be gin to take it easy (at my age). He said that he would stop in every week to cut the grass.
He got the tractor and was mowing along side the house when I came downstairs. My wife was standing in the kitchen, looking out of the window, smiling.
It had been an eventful year. The boy had moved out on his own, gotten engaged and was to be married in a few weeks. She turned to me and remarked how nice it was of him, with all he has going on, to take the time to come over and help.
I was a little more cynical. I said that he just wanted to get a tan before the wedding.
He came by a few more times before he got married. Hasn't cut the grass since or shoveled snow or stacked hay or.......


P.S.
He had a nice tan.
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Pat Dodson
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Pat Dodson » Sat Sep 02, 2017 8:54 pm

Guitar-ded wrote:
Fri Sep 01, 2017 11:02 pm

My wife loves to cut the lawn. We have a garden tractor thingy that almost makes it a fun chore, if you're into that sort of thing.
We also have a de-thatcher unit that she has named Maggie. :wink:
Wasn't familiar with the term "de-thatcher unit", which seems to be what I know as a scarifier. So I had visions of a woman on a tractor on a thatched roof ripping the roof off behind her. Maggie indeed. 😀

Pat Dodson
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Pat Dodson » Sat Sep 02, 2017 8:55 pm

simonm wrote:
Sat Sep 02, 2017 7:11 pm
martinardo wrote:
Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:04 pm
One word, Pat: AstroTurf.

my work here is done
Reminds me of this:

Reporter to famous baseball player "which do you prefer, grass or astroturf"
Baseball player "man, I ain't never smoked no astroturf"
:lol:

Pat Dodson
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Pat Dodson » Sat Sep 02, 2017 9:05 pm

Tubbers wrote:
Sat Sep 02, 2017 8:39 pm
....
The new turbo hand driers are the coming thing. You don't even have to wash as it will blow the dirt off your hands. :lol:

:lol: :lol:
Fast turtles. I'd like to see that. :)
Keep a look out for next year's Turner prize. Andrew and I might collaborate. I'm just wondering how far a turbo hand drier, triggered by a bumped boundary, could blow a tortoise in the opposite direction and how safely. Might be hard to get it by the ethics committee I guess. :D

Tubbers
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Tubbers » Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:31 pm

Pat Dodson wrote:
Sat Sep 02, 2017 9:05 pm
Tubbers wrote:
Sat Sep 02, 2017 8:39 pm
....
The new turbo hand driers are the coming thing. You don't even have to wash as it will blow the dirt off your hands. :lol:

:lol: :lol:
Fast turtles. I'd like to see that. :)
Keep a look out for next year's Turner prize. Andrew and I might collaborate. I'm just wondering how far a turbo hand drier, triggered by a bumped boundary, could blow a tortoise in the opposite direction and how safely. Might be hard to get it by the ethics committee I guess. :D
I can see nitro burning, turbo-charged leaf blowers in the future. :lol:
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Andrew Fryer
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Re: Do Masochists Dream of Electric Mowers?

Post by Andrew Fryer » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:50 pm

Walking down the road, Peter meets his friend Paul giving a woman a piggy-back.
Peter asks what's going on.
Paul replies "Nothing bad - we're off to a fancy-dress party. I'm going as a tortoise."
Peter asks, what's with the woman on your back?
Paul replies, "That's Michelle"
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