bear wrote: ↑Wed Oct 11, 2017 12:28 amFirst, the assumption is that we are talking about straight men and straight women.
I believe that some men can be friends with some women. All men cannot be friends with all women.
I have had women friends that I was not attracted too.I have had platonic relationships with women that I have been attracted too or who were attracted to me but there were some occasions when it felt awkward. My first rule in these situations was to NEVER put myself in a situation where an explanation was necessary.
That means, no social events unless my wife/girlfriend was present. No situations where behavior could come under suspicion. No rides "home", carpools, etc.. Nothing that wouln't be regarded as innocent by your other half. Doors are always open.
You're married but, I presume for work reasons, you've been separated from your wife for the last 6 months? If so, there's your problem.
There is a cultural difference between the Greeks and myself (a British born Chinese). Whereas drinking, chatting and then falling asleep (through exhaustion) side by side was considered normal by the locals it did seem strange to us Chinese chefs. None of us wanted the label "he's here to play and not work".robin loops wrote: ↑Wed Oct 11, 2017 12:07 amFriends and acquaintances yes, drinks with them absolutely not. It's not just the fact that alcohol can cloud one's judgement and inhibitions, but the whole activity of having drinks together is very much an informal date. Generally when 'friends' drink together, there are more than two friends. Going out with a few women for some social drinking would probably be okay but I would avoid one on one 'dates' in bars and pubs.
But my (our) opinion(s) don't really matter. What does your wife think? If you don't feel comfortable asking her if she'd mind if you go out and have a drink with a hot waitress, I think you have your answer right there.
None of the Chinese chefs had the same day off. After work I went to a notorious bar on my sous chef's birthday, where he has a VIP table. Moments later we were surrounded by tipsy girls. It would have been too easy to have been intimate with them but as I felt more and more tipsy myself I excused myself and went home.lagartija wrote: ↑Wed Oct 11, 2017 12:18 pmWait... there were other chefs in the same situation? Why did you not go to the movies with them? Especially since they were lonely, too.
Are you saying that you were all lonely for female company with physical contact and not just missing conversation and socializing?
If so, then I would say you made the right choice in avoiding situations where something might happen for which you would be sorry later.