joke of the day

Talk about things that are not necessarily related to music or the guitar.
Andrew Pohlman
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Andrew Pohlman » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:24 pm

Okay - here are some terrible Halloween jokes:

Q: What do ghosts eat for supper?
A: Spooketi

Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!!

Q: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
A: Spelling.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts!

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no BODY to go with.

Q: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
A: “Trike or Treat”?

Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.

Q: What room does a ghost not need?
A: A living room!

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
A: His “ghoul” friend!

Q: Why is Superman’s costume so tight?
A: Because he wears a size “S”.

Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
A: Shamboo!

Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!

Q: What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
A: A sandwich!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A nectarine!
2013 Rodriguez FF Sabicas blanco
2015 Trevor Gore custom Neoclassical
- redwood top, Palo dorado B+Ss.

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Andrew Fryer
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Andrew Fryer » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:27 pm

Hmm, I assume nectarine is American for blood orange!
1975 Calatayud y Gisbert, Yamaha CG131S.

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BugDog
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Re: joke of the day

Post by BugDog » Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:48 am

Not exactly. It's more like a bald peach. No fuzz. Other than that, it's so much like a peach it's nearly indistinguishable.
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JohnH
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Location: Irving, Texas,USA

Re: joke of the day

Post by JohnH » Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:28 am

There were three male opera singers that got together. One was a bass, the second one was a tenor, and the third man was a soprano.

Bass (with a deep voice): Let's go streaking.

Tenor (with a higher voice): Sounds like a plan.

Soprano (with a high voice): I can't. I don't have the balls to do it.

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John Fuary
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Re: joke of the day

Post by John Fuary » Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:33 pm

Andrew Fryer wrote:
Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:27 pm
Hmm, I assume nectarine is American for blood orange!
I think the joke was a pun (NECKtarine) Vampires going for the neck etc
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Andrew Fryer
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Andrew Fryer » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:39 pm

John Fuary wrote:
Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:33 pm
Andrew Fryer wrote:
Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:27 pm
Hmm, I assume nectarine is American for blood orange!
I think the joke was a pun (NECKtarine) Vampires going for the neck etc
Ah!
1975 Calatayud y Gisbert, Yamaha CG131S.

Andrew Pohlman
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Joined: Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:24 pm
Location: SF Bay Area

Re: joke of the day

Post by Andrew Pohlman » Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:51 pm

Okay guys - here are a bunch of horrible Thanksgiving and turkey jokes:

Q: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an ghost?
A: A poultrygeist!

Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected fowl play.

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
A: To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

Q: What key won’t open any door?
A: A turkey!

Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy

Q: What kind of weather does a turkey like?
A: Fowl weather!

Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey trot.

Q: If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?
A: Goblet.

Q: Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey because he’s already stuffed!

Q: What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
A: The drumstick.

If you celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have a marvelous feast !
2013 Rodriguez FF Sabicas blanco
2015 Trevor Gore custom Neoclassical
- redwood top, Palo dorado B+Ss.

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BugDog
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Re: joke of the day

Post by BugDog » Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:44 pm

Grandfathers know everything!!!!

Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked , 'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'

His Grandpa was a little taken back, but he decided to tell him the truth. 'Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse .’

‘Oh,’ Little Hunter said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, “Grandpa, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And mom wants to talk to you.
BugDog
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