REUTERS: OCTOBER 16, 2017
A brutal murder was committed yesterday evening. Police have captured the murderer, who has been identified as violinist Vanessa-Mae. She has confessed to committing the dastardly crime. Apparently she had numerous accomplices, tentatively identified as an "orchestra."
The unfortunate victim has been identified as Bach Toccata and Fugue in C Minor. No motive for the crime has yet been established. Numerous witnesses have been taken to the hospital suffering from a variety of illnesses, mostly involving nausea and vomiting.
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