I'm 18 and going to be a Guitar Performance Major this fall at university. This is really what I want to do, yes. I've already been accepted.
I love the guitar, but my playing is really nothing special. I'm not especially talented, or a prodigy
. It really is stressful for me to read players' bios, or read about competitions. What really is the point of studying music if you're just an ordinary person? What could one possibly contribute? Or the question is, what kind of role does the ordinary, working musician have in their community.
I don't want to be famous or anything, and I'm not bitter either. I felt a lot of enjoyment just learning pieces and progressing, but in the big picture everything I feel I've accomplished seems kind of meaningless. There are even guitar students in cities in my state who've won competitions and have great achievements, but I haven't really done anything. Some even have become famous. You know, they seem superhuman. Making me look like a tiny flea
Yes, comparing yourself to others is bad, but when it comes to trying to be a professional musician, surely there should be some standard of ability first? I don't know.
I know the quote "Don't study music unless you can't imagine doing anything else." Of course I always thought this applied to me; I didn't want to do anything else. But, what's the use of studying music as an ordinary person at a not-really-special university? In terms of playing ability, won't I just end up another uninspired-sounding, "cookie-cutter" type player, the kind who gets criticized so much? How about a revised quote: "Don't study music unless you're actually super talented and extraordinary. Otherwise, just do it as a hobby." It sounds so depressing though.