It may be easier to fret the notes if you move your elbow a little bit farther from your body. Compare your elbow with Andrei's in the video next to your original post. In the Packington's Pound piece, all the notes were there but your tempo was a little off. Many sixteenth notes were too long, and many quarter and dotted quarter notes were too short. Maybe play slower and try to keep corrected note duration.
For the notes in the box, following the same pattern and previous measures, I had measure 12 started with m-i, then (on paper) into the box with [m-i| m-a-m-i-a-m|a] m-i. But in the clip I was busy thinking about damping the open E and lost track of the treble line. So there were probably a couple extra a's in the mix.
Last edited by Chu Bun on Tue Dec 20, 2016 6:12 am, edited 1 time in total.