joke of the day

Talk about things that are not necessarily related to music or the guitar.
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David Gutowski
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Re: joke of the day

Post by David Gutowski » Tue Jan 23, 2018 6:07 am

I looked up "corkage" with my handy-dandy spell/dict. checker and there is no such word, so, it's most likely a British thing.
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ChristianSchwengeler
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Re: joke of the day

Post by ChristianSchwengeler » Tue Jan 23, 2018 10:18 am

David Gutowski wrote:
Tue Jan 23, 2018 6:07 am
I looked up "corkage" with my handy-dandy spell/dict. checker and there is no such word, so, it's most likely a British thing.
I didn't figure it out neither what the joke meant

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Re: joke of the day

Post by simonm » Tue Jan 23, 2018 10:46 am

For our United Station friends. :-)

Corkage is a fee charged by restaurants for opening bottles of wine and supplying glasses for wine that the customer brings with them if they are willing to let you consume your own wine on premises.

In some cases it is a work around for the alcohol licensing laws. An eatery may not have a license to serve alcohol but the restaurant has no object to people bringing their own and drinking it with their meal so they charged a small fee for the glasses. Similarly, at catering functions, if host supplies the wine the caterer may put in a specific fee for serving the wine to make up for lost profit on not being able to supply the wine themselves.

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Andrew Fryer
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Andrew Fryer » Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:49 am

Laudiesdad69 wrote:
Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:20 am
Andrew Fryer wrote:
Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:50 pm
Is there any sense in taking your wife to a brothel and paying corkage?
What is paying corkage? Is it a British thing?
It's when you take your own wine to restaurants that permit it and pay the sommelier to open the bottle for you (i.e. pay for the privilege)

The joke is a Bob Monkhouse one, and it's better if used in the context of something that's silly.
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David Gutowski
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Re: joke of the day

Post by David Gutowski » Thu Jan 25, 2018 5:49 am

Thanks mod and Andrew for explaining what "corkage" means. I don't think we can do that in the states.

I just don't get the joke though. Let me think it out. You're wondering if it makes any sense to take your wife to a w house and then pay to have your bottle opened. Why would you take her there in the first place? Why would you take your wife to a w house and pay someone to open your wine bottle? What's so funny about that? Is it an oxymoron? Or some form of idiosyncratic irony or contradiction? Must be above my intellectual capacity...which isn't very hard to do? Maybe other members figured it out...and who knows, maybe it is funny.
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Scott Phillips
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Scott Phillips » Thu Jan 25, 2018 6:21 am

Andrew Fryer wrote:
Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:49 am
Laudiesdad69 wrote:
Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:20 am
Andrew Fryer wrote:
Sun Jan 21, 2018 6:50 pm
Is there any sense in taking your wife to a brothel and paying corkage?
What is paying corkage? Is it a British thing?
It's when you take your own wine to restaurants that permit it and pay the sommelier to open the bottle for you (i.e. pay for the privilege)

The joke is a Bob Monkhouse one, and it's better if used in the context of something that's silly.
I liked his one "The odd thing about an orgy is that afterward you're not sure who to thank". I finally get the joke now that I know what corkage is.

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David Gutowski
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Re: joke of the day

Post by David Gutowski » Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:00 am

I'm going to have to think about it some more. You got it? I'm probably thinking about it too realistically.
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Isabelle Frizac
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Isabelle Frizac » Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:16 am

Little Nicolas has just been caught by his dad drinking alcohol secretly.

Dad decided to give him a lesson in morality.
He leads Nicolas in the garden, takes a glass of whiskey and a glass of water. He picks up an earthworm and drops it in alcohol. Then he takes another worm and drops it in the water.

The earthworm in the water stays alive, while the one in the whiskey twists itself for a few moments and dies.

At the end of the experiment, the dad asks:
- So Nicolas, what did I just show you?
- Uh, it shows that when you drink alcohol, there is no risk of having worms.

:reflechir:
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Andrew Fryer
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Andrew Fryer » Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:45 am

David Gutowski wrote:
Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:00 am
I'm going to have to think about it some more. You got it? I'm probably thinking about it too realistically.
Yes, I'd advise against that.
Isabelle Frizac wrote:
Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:16 am
Little Nicolas has just been caught by his dad drinking alcohol secretly.

Dad decided to give him a lesson in morality.
He leads Nicolas in the garden, takes a glass of whiskey and a glass of water. He picks up an earthworm and drops it in alcohol. Then he takes another worm and drops it in the water.

The earthworm in the water stays alive, while the one in the whiskey twists itself for a few moments and dies.

At the end of the experiment, the dad asks:
- So Nicolas, what did I just show you?
- Uh, it shows that when you drink alcohol, there is no risk of having worms.

:reflechir:
Or switch to tequila.
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Pat Dodson
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Pat Dodson » Thu Jan 25, 2018 1:33 pm

David Gutowski wrote:
Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:00 am
I'm going to have to think about it some more. You got it? I'm probably thinking about it too realistically.
You need to think about it more metaphorically David. Even then it’s not particularly funny.

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Andrew Fryer
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Andrew Fryer » Thu Jan 25, 2018 2:18 pm

Pat Dodson wrote:
Thu Jan 25, 2018 1:33 pm
David Gutowski wrote:
Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:00 am
I'm going to have to think about it some more. You got it? I'm probably thinking about it too realistically.
You need to think about it more metaphorically David. Even then it’s not particularly funny.
Well, it was a punchline without any context. For that reason I ought not to have bothered.
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Erik Zurcher
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Erik Zurcher » Thu Jan 25, 2018 10:15 pm

Piper.jpg
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Pat Dodson
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Re: joke of the day

Post by Pat Dodson » Fri Jan 26, 2018 12:14 am

:D Very good Erik. I confess it did take me a while to spot the difference.

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martinardo
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Re: joke of the day

Post by martinardo » Fri Jan 26, 2018 8:13 pm

Yes excellent. I, also, took some time to appreciate the subtle irony.
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joke of the day

Post by doug » Sat Jan 27, 2018 12:58 pm

I know it's late notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl in Minneapolis, MN at the new U.S. Bank Stadium, on Sunday, February, 4. They are box seats, and he paid $3500 per ticket, which includes the ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $400 bar tab and a pass to the winners locker room after the game. What he didn't realize when the bought the tickets last year was that, it's the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It's at St. Paul's Church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley. She's 5'4", and about 115 pounds, a good cook, loves to fish and hunt, and will clean your truck. She'll be the one in the white dress.
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